Does the 'Why' Really Matter?

Do you find yourself asking the question 'why?' when things don't turn out the way you think they should?  Perhaps you question why someone has made a certain decision.  Or why they've taken a particular action.  Why they ignored your input.  Why they didn't take certain facts into consideration.  Or perhaps you question yourself.  Why did you do a certain thing?  Why didn't you listen to your intuition?  Why didn't you know better?  All common questions.  Yet, I'd like to challenge you with the thought that the 'why' not only doesn't matter, it leads you onto the wheel of fear...

Why don't people understand what I want?

Clients often come to me either seething with anger or writhing with frustration.  "Why doesn't my partner/child/coworker/boss/friend/neighbor just do what I want?  Don't they realize how much easier things would be for both of us?  Why do I have to fight so hard to get my needs met?  What happened to helping others, or even plain common courtesy? I feel like I'm invisible.  No one makes an effort to understand me!"

How to Say Yes By Saying No

How about if I told you that when you say no, you are really saying yes. Would you believe me?  What are you saying yes to?  Yes to you. Yes to what is important to you.  Yes to what makes you tick.  Yes to what is meaningful.  Yes to your needs, wants and desires.  How can that be?  And how can saying yes to you make saying no easier?  Confused?  Read on...

Blog Post 7 Proactive Behaviors to Move you From Fear to Freedom

So you've decided that you want to approach the world from a place of freedom, not fear.  Great!  You've determined your Wheels of Fear and Freedom.  Wow! You've set intentions. Super great!  How do you motivate yourself to act on those intentions from a place of freedom?  Or, perhaps even more importantly, what do you do when Fear starts whispering to you?  When you can feel fear's grip?  When you're in your Fear stuff, and all your freedom based thoughts and actions desert you?  Enter proactive behaviors.

5 Steps to Transform Affirmations into Something Better

Last week, I shared how affirmations don't work for me.  How my initial enthusiasm wains as the promised results don't materialize.  How affirmations can, over time, put me onto my Wheel of Fear and cause me to beat myself up.

This week, I'd like to share an alternative to affirmations.  A few easy steps that are based in Freedom.  That will serve to move me (and you!) forward through empowerment.  Ready?  Here's the formula:

Why Affirmations Don't Work for Some People

Do affirmations work for you?  If so, great!  Keep it up :) 

If not, let's have a look at why.  And let's look at what we can do instead.

Why Affirmations Don't Work for Some People

Do affirmations work for you?  If so, great!  Keep it up :) 

If not, let's have a look at why.  And let's look at what we can do instead.

How Being Vulnerable Sets You Free

I belong to quite a few Facebook groups.  Each has a different focus. And yet, there is a common element: sharing knowledge.  Occasionally, someone will be fearless, and describe a challenge they are experiencing.  Ask for help.  People love to give suggestions and opinions when that happens.  One thing I've noticed, though.  The opinion- and advice-givers rarely ask for advice themselves. They want to appear confident and in control.  As one poster put it recently, "I don't do vulnerable." 

I'd like to invite that poster, and anyone else who's unwilling to be vulnerable, to step outside their comfort zone. Being vulnerable sets you free.  Here's how:

How Asking Yourself this ONE Question Can Change Your Life

How many times are we sure we know what another person is going to say, or how they will react? How many times are we sure we know the outcome of someone's statement, or how a certain situation will play out?  Most of the time?  And how many times does that certainty paralyze us?  Fear uses this technique to keep us in our comfort zone.

I'm going to teach you a question that, when you ask it to yourself, will change your thinking. This question will give you the courage to take that risk that you've been avoiding.  Permission to move out of your comfort zone.  Permission to open up new channels of communication.  New frontiers.  Permission to see situations, and people in a different light.  

Sound good?  Let's continue.

Only One Core Fear? Really?

There's so much talk about fear lately.  On the Internet. In magazines. Newspaper articles.  Among friends.  Everyone's saying how fear is holding you back.  And how you need to push through that fear to move toward your dreams.  Your wishes.  Or even your life's purpose.  

Yet, it's left up to you to define what it is that scares you.  Perhaps you're led to believe that a different fear rules Every. Single. Situation.  That each time you feel stuck, it's a different fear you have to face.  To accept.  To move past.  I challenge you today to think differently.

You *Are* Good Enough

I'm under the weather, and choosing to give myself a day off.  Wanted you all to know I'm thinking about you, though.  You're good. You're great.  You're fantastic.  You've got this!

7 Steps to Get Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone

Do you want to get out of your comfort zone?  Are you sure?  Because, let's face it, our comfort zone is, well......comfortable.  Safe.  A place within which fear keeps us safe from the unexpected  consequences of stretches, risks and (gulp!) dies.

Ah, but stretches, risks and dies are where the magic happens.  Where we learn our true capabilities.  Where anything is possible.  Where we begin to feel our freedom. Where we fly.  Yet, fear tells us not to take those risks.  "It's scary out there!" fear says, "I can't guarantee your safety.  Stay here with me.  Stick with the known." And yet....we yearn.  To be more.  To do more.  To find our purpose.  To get our needs met. To live our dreams.  And we can, by taking the following steps:

The Power of Procrastination

Some of us procrastinate more than others. For example, I set aside time to write this post much earlier today.  It's now 10 hours past that time, and I'm finally starting.  Many, many articles have been written about why we procrastinate and how to stop procrastinating.  But what if procrastinating is good for us?  What if maybe, just maybe, procrastination is a gift we give to ourselves?  A gateway to a proactive behavior instead of a self-defeating one?

How to Find Gratitudes in the Midst of Tragedy

There is always, always, always, always, always something to be grateful for.  Sounds trite, doesn't it?  And yet, if it were truly possible, what might happen?  What might you see that you had missed while being stuck?  What missed opportunities might you have taken advantage of?  What feelings might you not have repressed?  How might your life be different?

There have been times in my life when I couldn't find a single gratitude.  When my fiancé committed suicide.  When I saw my 15-year-old daughter's face and description on missing child posters.  When my husband told me he was divorcing me.  When my new love was left in a coma after a traffic accident. When my house burned down.

Great News! The next Fearless Living Book Group is starting soon!

Beginning Wednesday, August 10 at 6:30 pm, I, along with my colleague Marcia Dawson, will meet you online for 10 weeks to discuss a different chapter of the book, Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten each week.  We'd love for you to join us.  Learn how to get your needs met, reduce overwhelm, and more, one week at a time.

Register Here for The Fearless Living Book Group!

Grab your spot! Seats are limited for this complimentary interactive group!

Full name*

Email*

Don't have your book yet? Click on the Book in the sidebar at the right side to be taken directly to Fearless Living on Amazon.

See you next week...

Hello Fearless Friends,

I am away at the annual Fearless Living Institute Retreat, honing my skills by learning Master Coaching techniques.  In order to serve you better, I'm going to skip today's blog post to concentrate on integrating what I've learned.  See you next week!

~ Fearless Coach Marla

5 Steps to Rediscovering Your Authentic Self: How to Be You When You Have Lost Who You Are

"Be yourself!" so many books, articles and websites command. And what if you've been posturing so long you no longer know who you are?  How can you be you, when you've lost your sense of yourself?

I was once asked to write a list of 100 things I like to do. I was floored. I didn't know what I liked to do.  I was so wrapped up in doing for others that their likes had become my likes.  Their needs had become my needs.  And their requested actions had become my focus. My husband liked watching certain programs on tv, so we watched.  Did I like those programs?  Not really.  Did I even like watching tv?  Not so much.  My kids liked camping.  So we camped.  I prepped, packed, drove, set up, cooked, cleaned, took down, and drove home.  Did I want to add camping to my list of likes?  No way.  Mosquitos love me, so anything outdoorsy was off my list. 

Realizing that I had become so entrenched in fulfilling others' needs and wants was a eye-opener for me.  How, then, might I rediscover who I was and what I enjoyed?  How might I learn more about me?  How might I cut down on the people-pleasing, and focus instead on being authentic?

Here are 5 steps to rediscovering your authentic self:

1. Become aware of your Essential Nature, which Rhonda Btitten describes as "the most denied aspect of yourself."  My essential nature is trusting.  To tap into my authentic self, I needed to learn to trust my intuition. (Yours may be different: contact me find out more.)

2.  Allow your Essential Nature to guide you by asking....what actions can I take that would be in line with my Essential Nature?  For example, let's say that your Essential Nature is courage.  What do you do now that is courageous?  What would you like to do in the future?  What might you do differently?

3. Determine what do you like to do that is for you and no one else.  Do you like to read? Hike? Facebook? Play golf? Cook? Do you like Sports? Spas? Shopping? Libraries? Coffee shops?  If you're stumped, be willing to stretch, risk & die your way to revisiting previous experiences and/or examining new ones.  (See my post on Stretch, Risk and Die here).

4.  Set an intention around discovering who you are.  What is it you are willing to do to help with your discovery?  When?  Which action, guided by your essential nature, are you willing to take first? Next? And after that?  One action will steer you in the right direction.  Three actions will give you momentum.  And more will open the path to self-discovery and the life you desire. 

5.  Use acknowledgements and gratitudes each day.  Acknowledge yourself for each new thought, insight and action.  Have you discovered you don't like to cook?  Acknowledge yourself for your awareness, and be grateful for prepackaged meals and for restaurants.  Have you discovered you prefer Facebook to attending a party?  After acknowledging yourself for your awareness, be grateful for wifi. There is always, always, always something to acknowledge yourself for and to be grateful for.  Every single day.

My list of 100 things I like to do took a long time, and a lot of trial and error, at first. As I worked through the steps above, it became easier. I learned I prefer to connect with friends by instant message versus talking to friends on the phone.  I learned that I love to read, and despise tv.  As I set intentions based on risk, I began to build momentum.  As I focused on acknowledgements and gratitudes, I was propelled toward more in more intentions which, in turn, taught me more and more about who I am.  My list of things I like to do grew exponentially.  This list taught me who I am.  

Question:  What are 3 actions you can take toward learning to be yourself?

A Practical Example of Fearlessness

My 12 year old son had surgery this week.  In a foreign country, where the hospital staff did not speak English.  Where hospital procedures are different from what we Canadians consider the norm.  And he was fearless. Here's what he did, and what we can learn from his approach:

Do you really want to change? Find out here.

Are you seeking change?  From time to time, we all wish for things to be different.  A mate, a different mate, or no mate at all.  A job, a career change, or retirement.  Feeling loved, wanted, needed.  Connection.  Someone who will listen to us. Relaxation time.  Fun. A sense of order. 

Or perhaps, we are seeking something elusive.  We don't know what we want.  We simply want a change. A difference. We're feeling stuck.  How do we decide what's best for us?  How do we determine the particular change that will suit us best?  Or whether we truly want change at all?  

In 2007, my house burned down.  To the ground.  In the words of the insurance adjuster, "this is what we call a total loss."  Change was forced upon me.  I had decisions to make.  Rebuild on my 100-acre farm?  Buy a house in town and sharecrop the land?  Sell the acreage and move somewhere else entirely?  

At the time, I was responsible for the needs of 9 children, between the ages of 3 and 27, and a husband with a catastrophic brain injury.  There were decisions to be made.  Quickly.  In making those decisions, I allowed fear to run the show.  I hadn't yet heard of Fearless Living.  My decisions were made based on what I thought everyone else wanted.  What I thought they needed.  I never stopped to consider my own needs.  

A few years later, I was burned out.  Overwhelmed.  Dissatisfied.  Unhappy.  Confused. Questioning the choices I had made, and beating myself up.

Enter Rhonda Britten and Fearless Living.  I learned about the role fear was playing in my life.  I learned how to make friends with fear.  I learned about my essential nature, and how to access it to live in freedom.  And I began to make changes.  

Today, I filter my desire for change through a filter of freedom.  What do I need from a situation?  How do I feel about the way things are now?

You, too, can learn to use feelings and needs to determine your next best step when contemplating change. Here's how:

1.  Ask yourself, "what am I feeling about the current situation?"

Make a list of the things you'd like to change. When you think about the current status of those things, what comes up for you?  Rate the following feelings on a scale of 1 (I don't feel this) -10 (gut-wrenching):

If you're not sure what you want to change, ask yourself what areas of your life evoke these emotions, using the same scale.  Make a list.

Angry

Distressed

Helpless

Confused

Guilty

Puzzled

Frustrated

Overwhelmed

Embarrassed

Righteous

Discouraged

Sad

Impatient

____________(add your own feeling here)

2.  Now imagine you can wave a magic wand, and change the areas/thing(s) you are contemplating.  How will you feel, (or how would you like to feel), when the change is complete?  Use the same 1-10 scale here:

Amazed

Relieved

Confident 

Joyous

Stimulated

Hopeful

Fulfilled

Inspired

Proud

Glad

Thankful

____________(add your own feeling here)

3.  Which of your proposed changes evoke the strongest feelings?  Remember, we are talking here about how you feel, not how your perceive others will react.

4.  Determine your ONE THING.  What is the one thing that evokes the strongest reaction?  Perhaps you'd like to have less of a feeling from list #1.  Or more of a feeling from list #2.  Or maybe both.  What will serve you best?  That is what you want to change.  Have more than one, and can't decide?  Guess!  Pick one to start.  You can always change your mind later.

Next week, we'll talk about specifics.  Now that you've chosen your one thing, what do you do next?  Be sure to sign up for blog updates so you don't miss what comes next. 

Question: What is your one thing? 

Are you too overwhelmed or confused to decide? If you can't decide, contact me for a consultation using the contact form in the sidebar. I can guide you through the process.  You may be surprised by the result!

4 Steps to Stop Making Excuses and Take Responsibility for Your Own actions

It's comfortable to make excuses.  And easy.  Convenient.  Justifiable.  There's a sense of satifaction in being able to lay blame on an unplanned event, an act of nature, or another individual for doing something inadequately.  Or not at all. 

However, there's an even greater satisfaction available to us when we stand by our commitments.  We get to acknowledge ourselves.  We get to see how the universe supports us.  We get to feel accomplished.  Here are 4 easy steps to move you from making excuses to taking responsibility.  And first, a story:

Tips for Communicating with The 4 Types of People

A few months ago, I was introduced to the idea that people fall into four basic types.  Some identify the types as colors, others as numbers, others as shapes.  The theory is that communication becomes much easier when you know your type, as well as the type of the person with whom you wish to interact.  By tailoring your communication style to their type, you'll be better understood, and have a better chance of expressing your needs in a way that the other person will understand and honor.  

Here are the 4 types:

How I Used Fearless Living Principles to Homeschool a Profoundly Gifted child

Today's blog post is a little different.  Instead of discussing a concept related to Fearless Living, I'd like to give an example of what Fearless Living can do.  Here's an article about my 12-year-old son.  We knew he was special when we realized he could read.  At 16 months of age.  By 3, he was reading (and understanding!) entire books.  By 4-3/4, he had tested at above the 99.9th percentile in standardized tests.  I didn't know anything about Fearless Living back then, and I was terrified!  How was I going to ensure the best possible education for this child? What if my actions stifled, instead of helped him? Gulp! 

6 Things a Life Coach Can Do For You

Are you feeling stuck in a rut? Wanting to make different choices in the future? Not sure how to do so?

Are you frustrated? Overwhelmed? Feeling like you're not getting your needs met? Unable to set boundaries? Or not getting your boundaries respected?

Or perhaps, your life is going great, and you'd love to have more of the same, or something better?  Are you looking for someone to keep you accountable?

Read on for  6 ways I, as a CFLC Life Coach, can help:

How to Use Acknowledgements to Stop Beating Yourself Up

What are acknowledgements, anyway?  In Fearless Living, we use acknowledgements to remind ourselves that hey, we did that!  We thought that! We recognized that!  We shifted!  Oftentimes, we may think of acknowledging others for something they achieved, yet ignore ourselves.  That feeling of, "I'm not good enough" gets in the way.  The feeling that tells us we're undeserving of our own praise. That feeling that tells us we're not good enough. No matter what we do.  And yet, we ARE good enough. Here's how to get ourselves back on track.

How To Recognize Who's on Your Fearbuster Support Team

Dictionary.com

defines 'support' as "to maintain (a person, family, establishment, institution, etc.) by supplying with things necessary to existence; provide for" Necessary. To. Existence.

We all need support in our lives.  Rhonda Britten says, "No one can be fearless alone."  I agree.  Remember the movie "Ghostbusters?"  Those fearless souls who would provide support to chase ghosts away? Rhonda has labeled people who provide support as Fearbusters.  Fearbusters are those fearless souls who provide support to us to chase fears away.

How to Deal with Nay-Sayers, aka Fear Junkies

In her book, Fearless Living, bestselling author Rhonda Britten talks about Fear Junkies.  She defines them as, "certain people (who) are more likely to hold you back rather than cheer you on." Rhonda further separates these people into 5 types, most of whom are acting in innocence based on their own fears.  Once you learn to identify the fear junkies in your life, you can learn strategies to stop their nay-saying from triggering your fears.  Read on. 

6 Steps to Overcome the Seduction of Excuses

We've all done it.  Used excuses to justify our actions.  Or inaction.

Excuses draw us in.  They feel so real. Of course, we couldn't keep that appointment, or take that action.  We fully intended to follow through, yet something got in the way.  It wasn't our fault.  An outside force prevented us from doing what we said we would.  Or from not doing what we said we wouldn't. We can't be held responsible for that....or can we?

Reader Survey Results: What You Want to Learn

The numbers are in, and I'm so excited! As far as I’m concerned, a reader survey is the best way to get real, useful, concrete data on the people I want to serve best: you.

I want to share the results with you, along with how I plan to use the feedback to meet your needs and exceed your expectations in the coming year.

Reader Survey: What Would You Like to Ask Your Life Coach?

Help me to help you.  What topics interest you most?  What would you like to see discussed?

Would you you be willing to help me out? I want to be sure you, and others, are getting the support you need. 

Whether you're a reader of my blog, or even if this is your first visit, you can help by identifying the areas that are most relevant to you. 

Help me create the content you want to see by completing this short survey.  It shouldn't take more than 6 minutes, tops!

Complete Your Survey Here

Intentions: The Antidote to Expectations

Shoudda, coudda, woudda.  When is the last time something didn't turn out the way you thought it should?  Who did you blame?  Did you tell yourself someone *should have* done something differently? Or did you blame yourself for something you *could have* done differently?  Did you gripe about what *would have* happened under different circumstances?  These are all signs of being in a state of expectation.  Guess what?  Expectations are normal!  Yet, living in expectation can leave us feeling frustrated, irritated, and unfulfilled.  Luckily, there's an antidote.  Read on.

The 3 S's of Connection: Finding New Friends

Something came up in my Facebook feed this morning that reminded me of the importance of creating connections.  Here's what I read:  "...researchers examined nearly 150 previously published longitudinal studies that measured how the frequency of human interaction affects health outcomes. They concluded that low social interaction can be compared to the damage caused by smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, being an alcoholic, or not exercising..." 

Fear vs Freedom: Different from Batman vs Superman

Now that we've explored the Wheels of Fear and Freedom, how do we use them?  Let's look at an example, and then learn the tricks that work.  Every. Time. 

My son didn't want to wake up this morning.  He knew that he had schoolwork to do, and that we planned to visit family and friends an hour's drive away.  Yesterday, he was excited by the opportunity to visit.  Yet today, he ignored my repeated requests to get up.

Discovering Your Wheel of Freedom

Last post, we examined the Wheel of Fear, and looked at how it turns tighter and tighter until it has you in a stranglehold.  Now, let's look at how your Wheel of Freedom operates.

How the Wheel of Fear Works

In her book, Fearless Living, bestselling author, Rhonda Britten, describes the workings of both fear and freedom using the analogy of wheels.  The wheel of fear turns "righty tighty". The wheel of freedom turns "lefty loosey". What does that mean, and how do the wheels work together to run your life?  Let's look at the workings of the wheel of fear today.

Turning Complaints into Gratitudes

Complaining.  We all do it. And gosh darn it, we feel justified.  After all, things don't always seem to be in our favor.  Bad stuff happens.  Small stuff, like a dog who poops in the house.  Big stuff, like a major injury or illness.  It is what it is. Your small stuff may be someone else's big stuff, and vice versa. 

We hear someone talk about gratitude.  And we seethe.  How can we be grateful in the middle of our stuff?  How dare someone suggest we should be grateful in the midst of everything?  They obviously have no idea what it's like to live our life.  Smug person that they are.  Can't they just leave us alone?

I'd like to challenge you today.  I'd like to suggest that you follow every complaint with a gratitude.  It may not be easy.  It may make you uncomfortable.  And it's totally do-able. Read on.

I've been asked to give a talk soon, on a topic of my choice related to my experience in a year-long coaching certification program. I titled my talk, "These Things Happen." My chosen topic is turning complaints into gratitudes. Here's a sample:

The Small Stuff

- appointment times:  I hear 9:30 Central.  My client hears 9:30 Pacific.  Both of us sit on the conference call line at different times.  Alone.  Beating myself up about not being more clear turns into gratitude that my clients are committed and understanding.

- unreliable internet: My son has a proctored online exam scheduled for 4:00 pm.  The internet goes down at 3:30.  My ISP advises that they are unable to make a service call today.  They are seemingly unconcerned that my son may fail his course if he is unable to write his scheduled final.  My anger at my ISP's lack of empathy and support turns to gratitude that my neighbors are home and have a working Internet connection.

- interruptions:  I lock my door when I'm on client calls.  My family has been told they are not to disturb me.  While I'm on a call, I see my husband gesturing to me through our patio window.  I turn my back to him.  After my call, I discover that he has injured himself and wants to be taken to hospital.  My frustration at my boundaries not being honored turns to gratitude that he is not severely injured. 

The Big Stuff

- a major structural catastrophe on our property - Anger at Mother Nature's cruelty turns to gratitude that it is repairable.

- the death of someone vey close.  Rage at the illness that took him turns to gratitude for the times we shared together.  

You can do this, too!  Is it easy?  Not always.  Not even usually.  Yet it's doable.  My challenge to you:  each time you catch yourself complaining, follow that complaint with a gratitude.  Preferably directly related to the topic of the complaint.  If that's not possible for you, then state an unrelated gratitude.  Be grateful for the weather.  For your health.  For the food on your table, the roof above your head, the clothing you are wearing.  Anything, even simply the fact that you were able to get out of bed this morning.  Keep it up, and you will eventually feel a shift in your perception of the universe.  You've got this. 

Question:  what is one complaint you turned into a gratitude today?

5 Steps to Showing Compassion to Yourself (& Others) in Any Situation

Are you hard on yourself?  Do you have a tendency to blame yourself when things don't turn out the way you'd like them to? Are you comparing yourself with others, and labeling yourself as less than they are?  Is it challenging for you to show yourself compassion? Tough to be gentle with yourself?  Here's a formula that will help. 

The Cure for Beating Yourself Up

Self-blame. Kicking yourself in the pants. Chastising yourself. Self-correction.  Beating yourself up.  No matter what you call it, we all do it.  We'd love to stop, yet we can't seem to do so. And beating outlives up is one of the most negative things we can do. It demotivates us.   It disempowers us.  The good news is: we can learn how to stop beating ourselves up.  Read on to find out how.

No More Complaining!

We all love to complain.  The weather.  The boss. The kids. The neighbors.  Relatives.  Other drivers.  If any of these push your buttons, that's normal.  If you're vocal about your opinions, you're not alone.  After all, everyone knows that that jerk next door loves to run his lawnmower

at 8:00 am on Sundays.  And everyone hates him for it.  Why shouldn't you let the others know you're on their side?

Acknowledgements versus Affirmations: What works & What doesn't

There are tons of people out there who are fans of affirmations.  If you're one of them, great!  I'll show you how to take affirmations to a deeper level.  Not a fan?  Wonderful!  Let's discover acknowledgements and how they can support, or replace, affirmations.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affirmations_(New_Age) says, "Affirmations New Thought and New Age terminology refer primarily to the practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment—fostering a belief that "a positive mental attitude supported by affirmations will achieve success in anything."^[1] More specifically, an affirmation is a carefully formatted statement that should be repeated to one's self and written down frequently. For an affirmation to be effective, it needs to be present tense, positive, personal and specific."^[2] 

Do affirmations work?  No.   

It was reported in 2009 that a study had found positive affirmation(s) to have a detrimental effect on those who need it the most, because people with low self-esteem will perceive the affirmation as so unbelievable that it strengthens their negative mindset. Those who already have high self-esteem feel slightly better, and those who don't will feel worse than if they had been allowed negative thoughts. When people with high self-esteem uses positive affirmation, it acts as a buffer for constructive criticism that goes against the self-perception, and when people with low self-esteem uses positive affirmation, it rings untrue and therefore brings to mind exactly how they are not successful, loved, etc.^[11]

Do affirmations work?  Yes. 

"According to Rhonda Britten, affirmations work best when combined with acknowledgements because the acknowledgements build up a backlog of results in one's mind to prove that one can do what one is affirming.

 So, for example, the acknowledgement "I bought a good pair of sneakers and some gym clothes" could complement the affirmation "I can reach my goal of losing 20 pounds." The goal is to focus on steps one has taken toward accomplishing one's goals rather than criticizing oneself for what one hasn't yet accomplished, or could theoretically have accomplished but didn't."

Confused? 

Here's How To Use Acknowledgements to Support or Replace Affirmations

1.  Be specific.  Acknowledge every step of the process. See the example above for inspiration.

2.  Be expansive.  Acknowledge a shift in thought patterns, an insight, and the tiniest action.  It's not about perfection, or completion, it's about movement forward.  Each new thought, insight and shift will bring you closer to achievement. 

3.  Be consistent. Write 5 acknowledgements each day.  Use the format, "Today, I acknowledge myself for...." You can do it!  Can't think of 5?  I challenge you to break one acknowledgement into 5 parts.  In the example above, acknowledge yourself for realizing that you needed clothing, for committing to getting it, for driving to the store, for  trying on clothes, and for selecting your favorites.  Got it!

Love affirmations?  Great!  Reinforce your affirmation with acknowledgements.  Your visualization will become more real.

Hate affirmations? Great!   Leave them behind, and empower yourself with acknowledgements instead. 

Question:  How will acknowledgements propel you to further action?

How I Used Stretch, Risk & Die This Week: A Real-Life Example

Last week, we learned about a tool called Stretch, Risk and Die.  Here is how I put this tool to use in a real-life, everyday situation.

How to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

You've decided on your one thing.  You know you want to change it.  But how?  You need to <gulp> move out of your comfort zone.  Read on to find out how.

I

You Are Invited - Free Call Saturday, January 16

Would you like to start 2016 on a Fearless Path?  I'd like to invite you to participate in my Live Free Conference on Saturday, January 16 at 7:00 pm Central.

Here's what you'll learn:

- what it is that's been holding you back and 

- how being willing makes you able

- how fear fits into the picture

- what is one thing you can do within the next week

- a sure fire way to keep yourself on track

- how to show yourself compassion through your process

Spaces are limited, so don't miss out!  Join me on my LIVE call.  Simply leave a comment here or enter your email into the sidebar form to be sent call-in numbers for this FREE call.