Something came up in my Facebook feed this morning that reminded me of the importance of creating connections. Here's what I read: "...researchers examined nearly 150 previously published longitudinal studies that measured how the frequency of human interaction affects health outcomes. They concluded that low social interaction can be compared to the damage caused by smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, being an alcoholic, or not exercising..."
Yikes. I've had periods of both high and low social interaction in my life. Thinking back, my less-happy times were when I felt isolated. After my husband's accident (he sustained a brain injury in 1997), I quit my job, stayed home to care for him, and reduced my social life to next-to-nothing. All my focus was on hubby and our kids. I put myself last. And before long, I was miserable.
Fast forward to when I was encouraged to find connection. I'd lost track of many of my old friends. Others no longer wished to associate with someone with a brain-injured husband. I'd resigned from the Rotary Club years before. Ditto for my position as our city's Neighborhood Watch coordinator. And Machine Knitters club presidency. I no longer worked outside the home. I decided to research new ways to connect. Here's what I learned:
Smile
Smile at people. Strangers on the street. Waitresses. Store clerks. Receptionists. Baristas. This was a huge DIE for me at first. I was convinced they'd think I was stupid. Or needy. Or maybe a stalker or con artist. Guess what I learned? People smile back! I made a decision to walk two blocks to the corner store, refrain from looking at the sidewalk, and instead smile at anyone I encountered. I smiled at a lady, and she smiled back! She also said Hi to me! I felt instantly lighter and more confident. Try it.
Speak
Start with Hi. Then find a common denominator. The weather. The featured special in the restaurant. The window display. The magazines in the lobby. The seasonal coffee feature. Ask clerks and waitresses their name. Then use it. It shows you are interested in them. Remember, they want connection too. Everyone does.
Seek Out Opportunities
Join a meetup group. Or a club. Post on Facebook feeds. Set an intention to meet your Facebook friends face-to-face. I recently travelled to a town I hadn't been to in a while. I set an intention for myself to meet with at least 3 friends. This felt like a risk. It had been a long time for some. I ended up having lunch with 3 people, one of whom I hadn't seen in about 10 years, and another who I'd never met in person. I'm looking forward to my next trip, and to connecting via Facebook & email in the meantime.
And now I'm no longer shying away from people. I don't focus on the sidewalk anymore. I smile. I speak. Others speak back. I'm not intimated. I've learned to speak to pretty much anyone in pretty much any situation. One thing I know to be true: You've got this. You can increase your circle of acquaintances. Some of them will turn into friends. People who will want to be around you. And some of those friends will become support buddies. You will discover connections you never imagined you could have.
Question: what is one action you are willing to take in the next week to meet your need for connection?
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