How to Find Gratitudes in the Midst of Tragedy

There is always, always, always, always, always something to be grateful for.  Sounds trite, doesn't it?  And yet, if it were truly possible, what might happen?  What might you see that you had missed while being stuck?  What missed opportunities might you have taken advantage of?  What feelings might you not have repressed?  How might your life be different?

There have been times in my life when I couldn't find a single gratitude.  When my fiancé committed suicide.  When I saw my 15-year-old daughter's face and description on missing child posters.  When my husband told me he was divorcing me.  When my new love was left in a coma after a traffic accident. When my house burned down.

When stricken by a tragedy, it's common to want to curl up in a ball.  To hide in bed, and never come out.  To be angry, or to blame yourself or someone else.  Or all of the above.  It's not easy to be grateful for what is here and now.  It's challenging to look for the good when all you see is the bad.  

Allowing yourself to feel your feelings, whatever they are, is the first step toward healing.  Finding even one gratitude, no matter how tiny, is the next step. Want to find more gratitudes in your life?  Here is some inspiration:  

1.  Friends.  Whether one or many, virtual or in-person, choose to be grateful for your connections.  

2.  Weather.  Sunny?  Warm?  Cold? Rainy? Each plays it's role in balancing the environment.

3.  Your senses.  How might the world be different if you could not see, hear, feel, smell or taste?

4.  Self-expression.  Your ability to speak, laugh, love and cry.  

5.  Movement.  Even the tiniest degree of movement allows for a measure of self-sufficiency. 

Looking back now, I see the value in the tragedies in my life.  Out of my fiance's suicide, and the unexpected blow of my husband's decision to divorce came my ability to be independent and my desire to be further educated.  Out of my daughter's disappearance came a renewed appreciation for all my children and their individual natures.  Out of my partner's coma came the ability for me to find my voice and to be an advocate.  Out of the ashes of my home came the ability to let go of personal possessions that were keeping me in one place. 

While I may not have seen the future, nor wanted to, I know that each gratitude I struggled so hard to find helped to center me in time,  Helped to give me hope that all was not lost.  Confidence that I could rely on myself - my senses, my ability to feel and my ability to take action.  That I could rely on the universe - my friends, and even the weather.  Each tiny step toward gratitude brought with it the courage to take risks.

Today, I make it a practice to post one gratitude each day to my Facebook feed.  And I seek to record 5 gratitudes each day in my journal.  Some days, my pages overflow with gratitudes.  Other days, I work extra hard to find that one gratitude.  And yet, with even one, I know I'm on the right track.  I feel better.  And so will you.

Question:  what is one thing you are grateful for today?