A Practical Example of Fearlessness

My 12 year old son had surgery this week.  In a foreign country, where the hospital staff did not speak English.  Where hospital procedures are different from what we Canadians consider the norm.  And he was fearless. Here's what he did, and what we can learn from his approach:

1.  He asked clarification questions before, during and after the procedure. He didn't allow fear to hold him back from admitting there were things he didn't know.  He said, "I've never had surgery before," without embarrassment or self-consciousness.

2.  He released his attachment to the outcome.  Once he learned of potential side effects, he let them go.  A possibility that he would lose feeling in his toe? "That's not so bad.  I don't really feel with my toes anyway."  A possibility that he would awake from the anesthesia nauseated? "I'll get to eat jello."

3. He acknowledged his feelings.  He sought confirmation from us that apprehension was normal.  

4.  He identified his commitments. He intended to resume his schoolwork as soon as possible.  In the meantime, he intended take advantage of being pampered.  

5.  He acted on those commitments.  He packed his laptop to take to the hospital. He readied his recuperation area at home, so that things he felt he might want were within close reach. He put in a request for his favorite snacks for after the surgery.

What can we learn from this?  

The importance of clarifying

We can be confident once we clarify.  We prevent assumptions.  We avoid silent contracts.  We pay attention to what we know to be true, and confidently discard the rest. Worrying about 'what-ifs' becomes nonexistent. 

Releasing Ties to the Outcome

We can't change the universe, yet we can embrace it.  Expectations set the stage for disappointments.  Releasing expectations means recognition that the universe will support us, no matter what happens. 

All Feelings are Normal

Feelings are not good or bad.  They simply are.  Allowing ourselves to feel our feelings gives us permission to be human.  To not beat ourselves up.

Commitments are key

When we ask ourselves what we are committed to, we are identifying our needs, and determining what we are willing to do to get our needs met.  Clarifying our priorities. 

Intentions Lead to Action

Willingness leads to movement forward.  We are able to shake off the shouldda, wouldda, coulddas and focus on an action plan related to those things that fit with our commitments.  We can then acknowledge ourself for our movement toward that commitment.  There's no need for excuses and lots of opportunity for acknowledgements as we take each step. 

I'm happy to say my son's surgery went very well.  When he awoke, he was filled with gratitudes for the doctors and hospital, "I'm not nauseated, I'm not in pain, and they brought me my favorite jello!" And acknowledgements "I kept my arm still when they inserted the IV.  I brought my tablet so I can use it when I'm ready.  I assessed my pain level.  I asked questions before, so I know what is happening now."

Question: what is the moral of this story?