It's comfortable to make excuses. And easy. Convenient. Justifiable. There's a sense of satifaction in being able to lay blame on an unplanned event, an act of nature, or another individual for doing something inadequately. Or not at all.
However, there's an even greater satisfaction available to us when we stand by our commitments. We get to acknowledge ourselves. We get to see how the universe supports us. We get to feel accomplished. Here are 4 easy steps to move you from making excuses to taking responsibility. And first, a story:
One of the Facebook groups I belong to is a group of tens of thousands of women who are dedicated to learning how to live a healthy lifestyle through a particular eating regime. When I joined this group, I sought to lose weight. These women were inspirational and supportive. Full of hints, tips and ideas how to make the program work in many varying circumstances. Thanks to this program, the group support, and my own commitment, I lost weight. I've kept it off for over two years so far, and I am committed to remaining within my goal weight range for life.
Over the years, the group has expanded exponentially in size. The ladies who have been around for a while continue to be support buddies, powerful partners and voices of experience. Lately, I've noticed a trend that saddens me, though. More and more of the posts from newcomers are listing excuses why they don't want to commit to the plan. They don't want to read the book. They don't have time to cook. They can't afford what they perceive to be the need for a higher grocery budget. Their families don't support their efforts. They want others to guarantee their success.
Or they have tried the plan for a very short time, and are giving it up. Some express anger toward the plan for allegedly steering them wrong. For wasting ingredients on recipes they didn't enjoy. For wasting money on food items they are choosing not to continue eating. In every case, there have been numerous loving, supportive responses from group members. Testimonials to their own successes. Suggestions for saving on the grocery budget. Recipe tweaks for different tastes. Options for easy-to-prepare or pre-made foods.
So many excuses! And yet, there are many more members, tens of thousands in fact, who have had success. Fearbusters who acknowledge themselves for their success. Who are grateful for their journey, no matter whether they have started recently, re-started after going off the plan, stalled, or achieved a mini-goal along the way.
Are you an excuse-maker like some of the newbies? Would you like to be a Fearbuster like many of the oldtimers instead? Read these four tips to give yourself an attitude adjustment from fear-based excuses to freedom-based choices:
1. Be aware of the seduction of excuses. Excuses allow us to justify our actions or non-actions. They give us permission to stay stuck. They allow us to blame forces outside of ourselves for our failure to stay true to our commitments. Once we recognize we're in excuse mode, the next step is to move forward by saying....
2. "Until now." Powerful words that forgive us for our past excuses while at the same time giving us permission to reframe our outlook. What if the ladies in the Facebook group had added those words to their excuses? How might they have freed themselves to move on? I didn't want to read the book...until now. I didn't have time to cook...until now. I perceived that I would need to increase my grocery budget....until now. "Until now" gives us the freedom to decide.......
3. What am I committed to in this situation? Commitment is a matter of choice. When we make a commitment, we seek ways to keep it. If our commitment is firm, we won't be as susceptible to excuses. We'll look, instead, for ways to reduce, eliminate, and overcome challenges. Here's how commitment to the program might look: No desire to read? Perhaps it's available as an audio book. No time to cook? Look for no-cook or takeout options. No extra room in the grocery budget? Seek out frugal recipe choices. And finally.....
4. Lean on the power of gratitudes and acknowledgements. 5 of each per day. Be grateful for the Fearbusters in your life. Be grateful for the sales at the grocery store. Be grateful for all the ways in which the universe is helping you to keep your commitment. And acknowledge yourself! For putting the book in the bathroom so that you can read a few pages at a time. For asking your family for their help. For taking the tiniest step toward your commitment. For even thinking of your commitment when things get hectic.
The more you follow these tips, the less will be the temptation to fall back on excuses. Awareness, "until now", commitment, gratitudes & acknowledgements. Wow, you are more powerful than you realized. You have the power to make choices. You don't need to make excuses. You've got this!
Question: what is one thing you've been doing until now that you are committed to changing?
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